Pen. Page. Purpose. (The Part I Didn’t Know I Was Writing)

Including the word purpose in this blog title feels a bit ironic for someone who has — and sometimes still does — struggle with the concept of purpose. For a long time, I thought my purpose was rooted in the career I chose. I believed that once I reached a certain point professionally, I would feel fulfilled.

When I passed the bar and moved to L.A. for my first role as an attorney, I quickly realized that this alone could not be my purpose. Instead of fulfillment, the career brought me a lot of despair and stress — and it also forced me to confront parts of myself I had tried to keep hidden from the world. That part, surprisingly, wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. In many ways, it was the beginning of deeper self-awareness.

Purpose, in its simplest form, can be described as our “why.” But the more I looked for my “why” in things outside of myself — in success, recognition, or milestones — the less sense my purpose made.

I’ve come to understand that purpose isn’t one-dimensional. It has depth. And while I haven’t discovered every layer of mine, I do know this: a purpose that exists solely outside of me cannot fulfill me. True purpose not only reaches inward but also stretches outward — impacting others in meaningful ways.

I truly believe I didn’t start tapping into my purpose until I began to lose the things I once thought defined me — the things I believed would make me whole, validate me, or fill me up. Losing them led me closer to my being.

Today, I struggle less (most days, lol) with the idea of purpose, because I now understand this: I don’t define my purpose — it was already written. And my fulfillment comes from my willingness to surrender to a calling that is greater than myself.

-@juss.shayla (IG)/ thebakinglawyer(TikTok)